this is what i do when i should be studying. deal.

Make of it what you will. I think it's perfectly beautiful.

"This is love, she thought, isn't it? When you notice someone's absemce and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?"                                                                              {Jonathan Safran Foer}



Have a slight obsession with hands...so pretty.



Dreams, storms and walks along the beach..

What a weekend :)
Had such a great time with my boyfriend and his family in East London and haven't touched a book or a pc this whole weekend and as I type now, my fingers are like WTF are you doing woman???!!!
Was so nice to get away from res for a change and have a bit of "home-time". It's not at my home but it's at a home none the less.
That's what I've discovered is really valuable is that time away from res and the whole set up is really good for me. Not that I hate res, just that I do get chlostrophobic here sometimes.

We had a beautiful view of the sea and woke up to the smell of it in the air. I missed that. I had THEE best milkshakes in THEE world!! If any of you ever go to East London, find Friesland. Double thick chocolate malt (I think). Do it. You will not regret and it's worth the calories or whatever it is you worry about.

I love the rain \m/
We left Grahamstown late on Friday night and ended up driving through a HUGE storm. The rain was beautiful and I haven't felt that safe in a car in a storm before. Don't know why, but I'm going to say it's because I feel safe whenever I'm with Jarrod in whatever circumstances because that's what I like to think  xD  :P

Walking along the boardwalk at the beach today, I was so at peace, I felt like anything in the world could happen right then and it wouldn't matter. Was so nice to just dawdle with my hand in the love of my life's hand.

Random tangent: People think that saying the "love of my life" is very pretentious and is stupid because we have so much of our lives left and we're so young and we should enjoy ourselves. Well. I'm young and I still enjoy my life in all fields and don't think that having an amazing guy in my life is going to make me stop enjoying it. In fact, I'll enjoy it more, because if you're not enjoying yourself then you should not be in a relationship in the first place. He is it. If you don't like it then that's a pity. I know he's all there is and will be from now on and that's all that matters.

Random not, I know, but it cheeses me off when I hear, "How can you be so narrow-minded and naive?? You're so lovey-dovey, it's not healthy." Bully-bully-bullshit. It's unhelathy to hate on someone else's happiness.

The sound of the waves, rain on your windscreen, chocolate milkshakes, the sand between your toes, his sleeping head resting in your lap.
The little things are the only things that should count because thay are the things that will make you smile, and a smile can always be the source of your joy.

Clouds in the sky, but that's okay.
Clouds in the sky, been there all day.
Stars in your eyes, been there always.
My heart with yours, not just a phase.
All the world might never know,
Might never hear,
But I don't care.
Its you, my dear.
The clouds might burst
And shed their sadness,
The world
Won't know
My secret
Of the stars
In your eyes,
My love.    -by me

                                                                                         

First Dance..

So I'm a girl and as a girl, I am programmed to dream about my wedding. That's how it is. And this is the song I want to have my first dance to although a medley might be in order cause I have far too many favourites for my own health.

Everything by Lifehouse. Find this song. Now. That is all.


Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?



So cute, right? :D






















That one is for you my love (heart)

Ode to Monty

My puppy dawg is really not doing well :( -the one in the background in the picture to the left of the screen- and we might have to put him down :(. He has arthritis in his front leg shoulder joint and if the treatment doesn't start helping and soon, then he will have to go to doggy heaven.

We got him when I was in grade 1 or 2 and he was a champion dog that the breeders used to take to shows and they won prizes and stuff and when they discovered that he had a skew tooth, he couldn't compete anymore. So the breeders gave him away. They GAVE AWAY a 100% pedigree staffy because of a skew tooth. His name was monster then because he is sooooo hyper and full of buck and bounce, but we soon realised that he was a gentle giant, albeit a very clumsy, hyper one. So we started calling him Monsty instead. Inevitably this was shortened to Monty and Monty he has been ever since.

He has had biliary twice and he once ran face first into a roll of barbed wire. He was so hyper one day when my dad was walking them at the dam near our old house in Benoni, Johannesburg (for those geographically challenged individuals), that when my dad tried to call him back to heel, he just turned his head back, but carried on running. Anyway, he has a scar along his jaw now and I think it adds to his charm. Such a sweet pups with a scar on his snout. The amount of trauma he has survived is amazing! he is meant to live a loooong ass life!

He licks his lips when you pat him and his back leg flies around when you tickle his tummy. And he genuinely thinks that he's still a puppy. He jumps onto my mom's lap without a second thought about squashing her or something.

He's a goof. Just like Goofy, only worse. And we thought Roxy would be the first to have serious health issues because she's so chubby (I refuse to call her fat!). Seriously hope my little Monts machine gets better. :( and I'm not at home if he doesn't so I won't be able to say goodbye. Just like I wasn't there to say goodbye to my poor birdy!!

Funny story actually.

Lulu, our (late) budgie was a little bitch. No other way to describe her. She was sociable enough and would let you take her out of her cage, but she really thought she was a terradactyl or something! Never seen another bird with such attitude. We once put her on Monty's nose and he was so relaxed he just kinda looked up at her with the cutest squint eyes and she nipped him on his nose. He sneezed and shook his head and looked at us as if to say, "Haha, that was awkward" complete with the wagging tail. And Lulu stood there like "Yeah Bitch!!" *airpunch*

Anyway, now that you know how gentle Monty is and how vicious Lulu was; my dad would often take Lulu around on his shoulder as we all would, but he used to go outside with her to his workshop. One day, while I'm here in Grahamstown, my dad goes out to his workshop with her on his shoulder and for some reason she was spooked and flew off his shoulder which she often did, but her wing had been clipped so she never went far before crash landing (quite gracefully I must admit). Well, she crash landed with her claws in the base of Monty's tail. He turned around and bit at whatever was poking his arse. And so our vicious Lulu was decapitated by our gentle Monty. I cried when I heard and if I weren't trying not to be hysterical for my mom's sake, I would've blubbed!

The next day after I had made peace with the fact that Lulu was now flying up high somewhere now and not into a dog's tail, I laughed at the situation. It was all wrong. Lulu is the decapitating type! Not Monty! Ok, that sounds really bad, but Monty is so incredibly gentle and Lulu was just I-won't-take-your-shit-and-I-don't-care-if-you-clean-my-cage-and-give-me-food and had so much attitude.

You get the picture?? Was really sad though!! And now, we have Elvis. The prettiest budgie we've had so far.

And Elvis is as mild and meek as a lamb. ; )

Wet shoes cont.

My shoes,
Your shoes.
They're wet.
The elements,
Your elements,
They're cruel.
Disaster, fear,
Wet, cold and dark.
The fire inside you,
Not enough to warm you
To warmly warn me.
The fire inside me,
Not enough to warm me,
More than enough
To warm you.
Is this fire all you need?
How do you do it?
How do you want me to?
Tell me, show me,
Hurt me the way you want;
I am ignorant to it.
My shoes are wet.

Wet shoes

So I got caught in a torrential downpour.
Story of my life.
My shoes got soaked and thank god I had an umbrella with me.
Was bitching about wet shoes.
Then went to Journ class and we were talking about the impoverished people in the country.
My wet shoes aren't so bad.
I now have my feet warm and dry and encased in boots.
I am lucky.

Heeellooo............. O.o

So my amazing boyfriend reminded me that I have a blog!!
Hehe, what would I do without him, really?
Well, Its been a while and everything that I kept thinking, "I should put this on my blog" is no longer relevant to me or my life. Not much has happened since the holidays. I only got to spend 5 days at home and the other 5 days i spent in Port Elizabeth with the man of my life so I was still feeling a bit icky about missing home. Also, never let anybody have any kind of hold over your relationship unless they are directly involved. Don't do it. It is not worth all the stress. That is all.
The Easter break was awesome because with all the public holidays I managed to get 6 whole days off (ok, so i bunked 2) at home and got to spend some proper time with my family.

So, today I read my friends Facebook status and Nicky, if you ever read this, thanks dude ;).
It goes like this:

When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people you chuckle to yourself, patting yourself on the back as you scoff. It's the same superiority complex shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell, makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma you spend every moment of your waking life BITCHING about!

Well that got my mind going. How true is this!! I am going to put myself into a group now for mere practical purposes, not because I am deeming myself part of this group. Us "different" people think we are so above the normal lot of people. How narrow-minded that is. We pity the people who picked on us in high school because we were just slightly different to what they were used to and thought that they have no right to think that they are above us and now that we are in a neutral environment where nobody cares what you do and how you do it, we think the exact same way as said jock did in high school; I am better than you and therefore have a reason to look down upon you. Isn't that what we tried to be rid of in high school? Isn't this the exact system we so gallantly fought against? I say why think yourself above anybody else? Why even bother with judging somebody on how they choose to live? Don't we have better things to do?

The world works because of the different people in it and it would just become a monotonous, dreary, malfunctioning blah of a planet if we worked that way. Thank God we don't!! Let them be gay, let them be Lesbian, let them walk barefoot in a kaftan to lectures, let them be "Like, OMG, I mean how could she even like...OMG I can't even explain it..OMG, like seriously", let them wear black and have a huge afro, let them wear shirts that promote one thing or demote another. Who gave you the right to say that they couldn't or that it's wrong that they do? Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, but others are not entitled to the judgement they receive because of you opinion. Not on, bru.

Thanks for reminding of the existence of my blog babes.. (I think you are the only one reading this)