Got back on Sunday afternoon. Later that night at 11:30, our warden (Sandra) starts knocking on everyone's doors telling us that there is an emergency meeting in the common room. The hall warden (Dr Gambiza) is here and he wants to give us some news. Now you can imagine how peeved we all were at being woken up or having our studying interrupted at 11:30 on a Sunday night. What could be this important, really?? So we get to the common room and everyone is speculating as to why we were there. All the sub-wardens and Sandra had to stand there and listen to us speculate and laugh while they knew what was going on. The Dr arrived and told us he had bad news. I will never forget what he said. "One of us has been killed." He said "Anja" but nobody knew who that was because she never called herself that. When he said her surname we all knew it was the beautiful, sweet, amazing Ajaya (AJ). She stayed two doors down from me and everytime I walk out of my room now all I can see are flowers outside of her door.
She had gone to Port Alfred with her friends and had left as I arrived back from home. I walked in as she walked out and I still said goodbye to her and told her to have a great time and thought how brave she was to wear shorts 'cause it was still kinda cold. On the way back on Sunday night the bakkie they were in rolled because the driver tried to overtake on a road that should not even exist it's so bad. I get scared driving along that road in broad daylight with the most responsible of drivers. It's not a fun ride. And not a road anyone should be overtaking on. She didn't suffer though and although that sounds sick of me, it was one of the things that we were thinking about and were comforted to know that she didn't.
AJ never didn't have a smile on her face and I literally cannot recall seeing her face in a frown, ever. Not once in the short time that I knew her. You could be having the shittest day ever and just talking to her would cheer you up, even marginally, but generally exponentially. She was a ballroom dancer and did drama and had such amazing talent.
She was literally one of those people that could light up a room just by walking into it and smiling at everyone. When we heard the news we went to De Beers (our brother res) to break the news. It's amazing how amazing those guys are. We stood in their foyer talking for hours and we stood in a circle praying for AJ and her family. I remember thinking how lucky heaven was to have been given such a special angel that night.
I still can't believe she's gone, but everytime I walk out of my door I realise she is. Makes me want to tell all my loved ones how much I love them and cherish them and all the people I want to make peace with that I'm sorry or I don't care anymore if they're not sorry. I don't ever want to leave this earth with things unsaid.
This is gonna sound weird, but I've always had this thing, I don't know what to call it. A theory? That the shortest lives are the most brilliant. Everyone who I have known that has passed away far too soon have been amazing people that lived everyday until there was no more left in that day. Someone said to me on Sunday night, "The great die young" and it has some truth to it. It's as if all the greatness that could be achieved in an average lifetime has been squashed up and crammed into 20 years, making it even more great or awesome. If this isn't making any sense then I suppose it doesn't matter because it's making sense in my head.
We are having a candle vigil tonight for AJ at which there will be a book in which we can write a message about her, a memory, a poem, something for her family, anything we want and that book will go back home with her family, that way some part of her Rhodes family can go back with her and her family. And then tomorrow is her memorial service and we are going to release helium balloons into the sky with notes attached to them for AJ.
It's amazing how quickly the people in your res and dining hall become like your family. When I think about it, they literally do become that: your family away from home. I've only been here for half a year and I feel like that already. Wonder what the second years feel like by now.
Needless to say, I haven't been getting too much studying done, but I'm getting there. My first exam is English on Friday afternoon and then I have History on Saturday morning. Great stuff. Can't wait for Saturday afternoon!!! For some reason my hand is REALLY itchy so I'm going to stop typing now, but I shall be back soon.
And just in case anyone thought of forgetting: I love my boyfriend!!!!!!!!!
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