back and.....FIRE!!!

So vac ended today (if you want to call what was really a glorified long weekend a vac).

Sad face.

But I had a really great time at home and also with the male counterpart in PE last weekend. Wow, feels weird to type again.

So I have this irrational fear of res burning down during vac and all my possessions (the ones I didn't take home with me) along with it. And today that almost became a reality.

As we were driving into town we saw a LOT of smoke coming from the mountain (also, glorified mound)behind our res.
Then we drive up the street and see that oh, hello, the fire is on the side of the mountain facing our res and Joe Slovo (our neighbours).
Lots of wind, lots of smoke, lots of flames.
The res filled up with smoke and then the fire alarm went off and people who were far too excited started yelling, "It's not a fire drill!! GET OUT!!!"
And we're like, really, do you think we don't know that seeing as how I can't see your face because of the smoke in this building. Seriously.

So eventually (after an hour and the fire brigade FINALLY making an appearance) they manage to get the fire out/under control and we are allowed back into res. Only now the entire place stinks like charred meat and dead, burnt grass and that black stuff is everywhere.
Welcome back guys. Here's a fire for you.

And now I have another song for you: Caroline - David Gray.
I seem to have this weird relationship with Mr Gray in that I go through a period where he is all I listen to and then I forget he even exists for months at a time. And then it starts all over again.
I can't find a legit music video for it but this one that I found is pretty cool. Got the little music bar things i Like to chase with my pen sometimes.

It's so cool how the combo of the electro-ness and the acoustic guitar work together.
Love it or hate it, you have to respect it.
And this term will prove miraculous if I make it out with my sanity. The amount of work I have - cringe.
Don't be expecting to hear too much from my side. :/ :(

Peace kids. :)

purple fever, hell week v1.0 and v2.0 and the beginning of the countdown

Well, what was possibly one of the biggest parties of the year is over and I flaked out early due to the evil of crackling.

THIS STUFF IS EVIL!! DO NOT EVER TOUCH IT!! NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE DYING (which i hope none of you ever do)

Soooo, the biggest party I mentioned before?? Tri-varsity. Which is still a bit of an enigma to me because of the following story:

I have been drinking crackling all year. It's terrible but it does the job and its cheap. I've survived, especially when mixed with Sprite. Once I had heartburn for 2 days after a large dose of Uncle Crackles here, but that didn't stop me from deciding to share a bomb (1.5 litre) with my friend mixed with Sprite for pre-drinks the first night of tri-var. We had the little pre-party in my room (matchbox) and then went to a friends res to finish it up and head out. There I finished up my half of the poison and had a few gulps of my boyfriend's vanilla vodka and coke. Then we headed out. Got to Friars and I'm ready for all the party that tri-var can bring my way. And then Uncle Crackles decides to ruin it all and saying something stupid like "I'm coming up!! And I'm bringing the supper you just had with me!!"

So that was me and the boyfriend coming back up to res to get me into bed at.................10 FRIKKEN 30 ON THE FRIDAY NIGHT OF THE BIGGEST MOST CRAZY WEEKEND OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course the next day I was man down until after lunch. Then the photos came out on Facebook and for once I was dreading them because I wasn't in any of them. I had completely failed and was so bummed that I had missed out on all the fun. The photos were so funny but I missed most of it.. The pre-party was great though. So the night ended up with my amazing boyfriend holding my hair back while I made best friends with Mr Shanks. Fail. And I failed his tri-var too although he keeps saying he came for me, not tri-var. Still feel like an ape. Trust my system to wait until tri-var to refuse poor old Uncle Crackles. That relationship has come to a bitter end and never will I ever have a crackling hangover again. Bad.life.choice. They aren't normal!! Recession wines and me are going to be good mates from now on.

me and the handsome man at pre-drinks (this is me sober and
still friends with uncle crackles)

Then the week after tri-var (last week) was Hell Week. With the profs making everything due for that week and the recovery time needed from the weekend, work piled up for everyone from all corners and threatened our very existence!!!......ok it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't pretty. It is now over but people are still drowning and my friend was telling me how she saw someone in the library who was only getting the readings she needed for her 10 page essay at 9:30 this morning and the deadline was at 10:00. Jaaaaaaa. Late for her.

I've only just managed to get the purple dye ff my chest which my boyfriend so lovingly dumped there for me :) Haven't seen the charming young man in a week now and I still have 3 weeks to go until I do. This will be the longest time that we haven't seen each other so I'm cringing at the though of that but we will get through it :) duh!

Oh, he wrote on my overalls for me. Little sign that says "Private Property" with his signature and little smiley face that he draws which looks like this: (marvel at my paint skills!!)

This was written on my bum in the middle between the 2 hand prints :P


Was so good to go home this past weekend though. Had a huge braai and ate tons of identifiable meat and potato bake (i make the best) and my mom's salad. No salad will ever beat that. 3 weeks until Jarrod, food, home and rest!! Can't wait :)

Peace :)

Substance..the gooey, icky type..

What matters to you?

How often do you ask yourself that?

How well do you answer that everytime you ask it?

If you're giving a list as long as your arm full of things then you could be really, really blessed and what not, or you're placing value on things that shouldn't be value laden.

Eek!! Why, oh, why, do I always get like this after saying goodbye to my boyfriend at yet another busstop, gate or next to an open door of a car that I am about to get into or walk away from? Wait, stupid question, huh?

Truth is, he matters a #$&%LOAD to me! He does, my family does, my friends do, my education does (which I am clinging onto for dear life at the moment). Memories matter to me because sometimes they are the only things that we have when all is said and done. Laughing matters.. But I think that comes standard with the above mentioned, especially with the crazy, amazing bunch I have been granted.

You know that moment when you realise how lucky you are to

1. be alive,
2. live (yes, they differ because this one is up to you to ensure),
3. have people in your life to be thankful for,
4. be in an amazing place (often self-determined),
5. and to realise that you are not, as you thought, in such a bad way?

Frikken glorious moment, isn't it?? I've lost count of how many times I've had that moment this year and I probably won't stop having it until I find a reason not to, which I hope will never happen (the guy told me he's here to stay, so..?..[hehe]). Everytime I've felt like caving and giving in this year and going home to my mommy and her amazing food and my glorious bed and and and....OK, now I miss home. Crap. Anyway, everytime I've done that, I've reminded myself of how lucky I am to be in a place like this one and have the people in my life that I do and what I can accomplish with what has been made available to me. The opportunities are FRIKKEN ENDLESS!! It's so exciting and if half the people around me here who moan about what's so wrong in their lives would open their eyes, smell the roses and see the silver lining, they would realise that too.

Ok, so I've harped on enough about this, but have been thinking about it for a while. On the Saturday before term started, my boyfriend's sister, Tam, had her wedding which was pretty much the most awesome one I've been too. Was small, really beautiful and Tam. of course, looked like a million bucks.
She loves the wholes '20's style and listens to people like Frank Sinetra and I can't recall who else. Oh, add Bowling for Soup to the mix. Yes, add it. Her dress was so pretty and I think outting up photos will do it a lot more justice.

Tam and her dad walking down the aisle

THE CAKE!!which was transported in
400 pieces from PE to East London

first dance...



Tam and her FRIKKEN CUTE brother :D



Tam and Cameron

Cocktails!!

Happiness is...

That's how we roll :)

Jarrod and his mom

The best for last..*sigh*

So yes, it was a great night! And come on, how handsome is the best man???? Riiiight?? ;)

On a sad note, I realise that I didn't mention that we had to put Monty down on my last day of being at home, literally, hours before I left :(. Was very sad, but we discovered that he had lymphatic cancer and the meds and the strain just got too much for hima dn the night before I left, he just looked like the life had been sucked right out of him and we could tell he was suffering and that it would be better that way. His body had swollen up randomly in places and he wouldn't stop shaking. So we sent him to doggy heaven. My mom has a quote on her Skype page that says "No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich". This is so true. Louis Sabim was a smart man..

Eek, must get going though.. Class tomorrow. And a test!! Blegh..

Peace :)

C'est la vie...

So i had a really good weekend at home. Nadine couldn't come in the end but I enjoyed it none the less. Had my mom with me the whole time and had the best cooking in the world, which made me the happiest person alive!

Got back on Sunday afternoon. Later that night at 11:30, our warden (Sandra) starts knocking on everyone's doors telling us that there is an emergency meeting in the common room. The hall warden (Dr Gambiza) is here and he wants to give us some news. Now you can imagine how peeved we all were at being woken up or having our studying interrupted at 11:30 on a Sunday night. What could be this important, really?? So we get to the common room and everyone is speculating as to why we were there. All the sub-wardens and Sandra had to stand there and listen to us speculate and laugh while they knew what was going on. The Dr arrived and told us he had bad news. I will never forget what he said. "One of us has been killed." He said "Anja" but nobody knew who that was because she never called herself that. When he said her surname we all knew it was the beautiful, sweet, amazing Ajaya (AJ). She stayed two doors down from me and everytime I walk out of my room now all I can see are flowers outside of her door.

She had gone to Port Alfred with her friends and had left as I arrived back from home. I walked in as she walked out and I still said goodbye to her and told her to have a great time and thought how brave she was to wear shorts 'cause it was still kinda cold. On the way back on Sunday night the bakkie they were in rolled because the driver tried to overtake on a road that should not even exist it's so bad. I get scared driving along that road in broad daylight with the most responsible of drivers. It's not a fun ride. And not a road anyone should be overtaking on. She didn't suffer though and although that sounds sick of me, it was one of the things that we were thinking about and were comforted to know that she didn't.

AJ never didn't have a smile on her face and I literally cannot recall seeing her face in a frown, ever. Not once in the short time that I knew her. You could be having the shittest day ever and just talking to her would cheer you up, even marginally, but generally exponentially. She was a ballroom dancer and did drama and had such amazing talent.

She was literally one of those people that could light up a room just by walking into it and smiling at everyone. When we heard the news we went to De Beers (our brother res) to break the news. It's amazing how amazing those guys are. We stood in their foyer talking for hours and we stood in a circle praying for AJ and her family. I remember thinking how lucky heaven was to have been given such a special angel that night.

I still can't believe she's gone, but everytime I walk out of my door I realise she is. Makes me want to tell all my loved ones how much I love them and cherish them and all the people I want to make peace with that I'm sorry or I don't care anymore if they're not sorry. I don't ever want to leave this earth with things unsaid.

This is gonna sound weird, but I've always had this thing, I don't know what to call it. A theory? That the shortest lives are the most brilliant. Everyone who I have known that has passed away far too soon have been amazing people that lived everyday until there was no more left in that day. Someone said to me on Sunday night, "The great die young" and it has some truth to it. It's as if all the greatness that could be achieved in an average lifetime has been squashed up and crammed into 20 years, making it even more great or awesome. If this isn't making any sense then I suppose it doesn't matter because it's making sense in my head.

We are having a candle vigil tonight for AJ at which there will be a book in which we can write a message about her, a memory, a poem, something for her family, anything we want and that book will go back home with her family, that way some part of her Rhodes family can go back with her and her family. And then tomorrow is her memorial service and we are going to release helium balloons into the sky with notes attached to them for AJ.

It's amazing how quickly the people in your res and dining hall become like your family. When I think about it, they literally do become that: your family away from home. I've only been here for half a year and I feel like that already. Wonder what the second years feel like by now.

Needless to say, I haven't been getting too much studying done, but I'm getting there. My first exam is English on Friday afternoon and then I have History on Saturday morning. Great stuff. Can't wait for Saturday afternoon!!! For some reason my hand is REALLY itchy so I'm going to stop typing now, but I shall be back soon.

And just in case anyone thought of forgetting: I love my boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

Home sweet home..

So I'm going home today!! Just for the weekend but I'm super excited nonetheless. I miss home like CRAZY and especially my mom. She's my bestest friend and my mommy all rolled into one. I know people think that you shouldn't be all buddy-buddy with your mom and you shouldn't exactly have your mom as your only friend but my mom is my most important friend for sure!!

Me and my mom on the night of my matric farewell

Anywho, home cooking, yay!! My mom is making beet stew for tonight!! My mouth is watering. Literally. The food we get here is really really below average and I've been sick twice from it. Actually if you count how long i was sick for it's like 5 times. Can not wait to have some real food for a change and not slop. Although some of the meals here are okay and we kinda look forward to them.

More great news, Nadine is coming tonight with her sister and another friend and we (the 4 of us) are sleeping in my room. Going to get interesting. Hehe. Haven't seen that child since like February and I think I might crush her when I see her! Going to be a goooood night :P.. Meh, this blogspot story really needs emoticons!!

Anyway I must go and pack and then pretend like I'm studying really hard!!
Oh, and today you must do the following people: listen to Adele's Somebody like you. Just do it. And then watch Pink's Perfect music video. 'Til the end. The end makes it just that special. I want that. And I think I have that. Or I at least have the promise of having that. Watch it on YouTube and make sure it's the legit version ie. the version uploaded by Pink's VEVO account. Kay? Got it? Good. Go.

Is it because I'm white???

I hate living in a country that will forever be obsessed with race. No matter where you go, people will say that they aren't racists but everything they do relates back to the racial ideologies that have been conditioned into us simply because we live in South Africa, even if we grew up in the post-democratic version of it.

We had a house meeting tonight with the Vice Chancellor of Rhodes because of our naming issue. I'm assuming you want the short story to this saga. So, in 2009 this residence was opened as New Residence 2 and the students have the privelege of suggesting a name for the res to the Naming Committee. The name the students back then came up with was Jean Sinclair (click on her name if you know nothing about her). She was basically against any form of oppression against a certain group of people ("non-whites" and women) during apartheid (click on that word if you live under a rock and don't know what that means). So, she rocked. But the naming committee rejected our name because they want more diversity in the names of buildings. Which is all good and well. So we had the VC telling us all this tonight. But we are still without a name.

Rhodes was one of those universities that only accepted white students during apartheid and is known for that. This is not the case anymore though and that reputation of "the white university" is slowly starting to fade. So most of the buildings names are named after white people who did good in the country and helped develop our country and lead us out of apartheid. But this is a "problem" because there aren't any black hero buildings. Except Chris Hani house and Nelson Mandela hall. No Indian or Coloured people who did good. No black people.

And I understand that we need more diversity in the naming of our buildings but it bugs me so much when you realise how much race actually matters to people. Race is not meant to exist. Your culture exists and that is what is meant to matter to you. It's like the crap that happened during apartheid is being cast on this generation to fix and I know that what happened back then was ridiculous and that it should never have been tolerated AT ALL. I am glad that I was not around during apartheid because I would've hated my counrty so so so much and would have tried to assassinate people or some such thing. It was a sick place to be. The thought that someone could believe that just because you had more pigments and maybe believed different things than you that they could be regarded as the scum of the earth.

I want to cry every time I think about it and I'm ashamed to be associated with the group of people who implemented this system. It is disgusting.

I hope I am alive to see the generation that is not concious of "race" and that a hero is a hero and the race of that hero doen't have to be considered. Black or white, Indian, coloured, Chinese or Spanish. Male or female.

Something to look at...

*my blog does a spin and curtsies, showing off its new dress*

You like, yes?

I was browsing arb art sites earlier and Deviant Art always comes up. I have always used this site for art projects and the like and I think it's really cool. You can find everything from crafts to photos to fine art paintings and computer generated art there. Found some cool stuff there, but I'm not going to post all of it tonight. Just one relevant one if you are ever left wondering about the title of my blog:

I think that it is so true. If we can't appreciate the little things, I think we would all be positively insane by now. The world is filled with depressing things and if you don't know how to see the silver lining or the small beauties that are never too far to find, then you are going to be a very sad person.

The small things will become the big things once you realise that they make you happy.

Random pics I've had on my mind lately...

been missing my roxy pups..love this photo of her <3

meeting the most awesome band EVER
and having them sign my tummy.
amazing!one of the small things i will always
cherish.SUCH AN AWESOME BAND!!
Prime Circle baby..

this is what i do when i should be studying. deal.

Make of it what you will. I think it's perfectly beautiful.

"This is love, she thought, isn't it? When you notice someone's absemce and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?"                                                                              {Jonathan Safran Foer}



Have a slight obsession with hands...so pretty.



Dreams, storms and walks along the beach..

What a weekend :)
Had such a great time with my boyfriend and his family in East London and haven't touched a book or a pc this whole weekend and as I type now, my fingers are like WTF are you doing woman???!!!
Was so nice to get away from res for a change and have a bit of "home-time". It's not at my home but it's at a home none the less.
That's what I've discovered is really valuable is that time away from res and the whole set up is really good for me. Not that I hate res, just that I do get chlostrophobic here sometimes.

We had a beautiful view of the sea and woke up to the smell of it in the air. I missed that. I had THEE best milkshakes in THEE world!! If any of you ever go to East London, find Friesland. Double thick chocolate malt (I think). Do it. You will not regret and it's worth the calories or whatever it is you worry about.

I love the rain \m/
We left Grahamstown late on Friday night and ended up driving through a HUGE storm. The rain was beautiful and I haven't felt that safe in a car in a storm before. Don't know why, but I'm going to say it's because I feel safe whenever I'm with Jarrod in whatever circumstances because that's what I like to think  xD  :P

Walking along the boardwalk at the beach today, I was so at peace, I felt like anything in the world could happen right then and it wouldn't matter. Was so nice to just dawdle with my hand in the love of my life's hand.

Random tangent: People think that saying the "love of my life" is very pretentious and is stupid because we have so much of our lives left and we're so young and we should enjoy ourselves. Well. I'm young and I still enjoy my life in all fields and don't think that having an amazing guy in my life is going to make me stop enjoying it. In fact, I'll enjoy it more, because if you're not enjoying yourself then you should not be in a relationship in the first place. He is it. If you don't like it then that's a pity. I know he's all there is and will be from now on and that's all that matters.

Random not, I know, but it cheeses me off when I hear, "How can you be so narrow-minded and naive?? You're so lovey-dovey, it's not healthy." Bully-bully-bullshit. It's unhelathy to hate on someone else's happiness.

The sound of the waves, rain on your windscreen, chocolate milkshakes, the sand between your toes, his sleeping head resting in your lap.
The little things are the only things that should count because thay are the things that will make you smile, and a smile can always be the source of your joy.

Clouds in the sky, but that's okay.
Clouds in the sky, been there all day.
Stars in your eyes, been there always.
My heart with yours, not just a phase.
All the world might never know,
Might never hear,
But I don't care.
Its you, my dear.
The clouds might burst
And shed their sadness,
The world
Won't know
My secret
Of the stars
In your eyes,
My love.    -by me

                                                                                         

Ode to Monty

My puppy dawg is really not doing well :( -the one in the background in the picture to the left of the screen- and we might have to put him down :(. He has arthritis in his front leg shoulder joint and if the treatment doesn't start helping and soon, then he will have to go to doggy heaven.

We got him when I was in grade 1 or 2 and he was a champion dog that the breeders used to take to shows and they won prizes and stuff and when they discovered that he had a skew tooth, he couldn't compete anymore. So the breeders gave him away. They GAVE AWAY a 100% pedigree staffy because of a skew tooth. His name was monster then because he is sooooo hyper and full of buck and bounce, but we soon realised that he was a gentle giant, albeit a very clumsy, hyper one. So we started calling him Monsty instead. Inevitably this was shortened to Monty and Monty he has been ever since.

He has had biliary twice and he once ran face first into a roll of barbed wire. He was so hyper one day when my dad was walking them at the dam near our old house in Benoni, Johannesburg (for those geographically challenged individuals), that when my dad tried to call him back to heel, he just turned his head back, but carried on running. Anyway, he has a scar along his jaw now and I think it adds to his charm. Such a sweet pups with a scar on his snout. The amount of trauma he has survived is amazing! he is meant to live a loooong ass life!

He licks his lips when you pat him and his back leg flies around when you tickle his tummy. And he genuinely thinks that he's still a puppy. He jumps onto my mom's lap without a second thought about squashing her or something.

He's a goof. Just like Goofy, only worse. And we thought Roxy would be the first to have serious health issues because she's so chubby (I refuse to call her fat!). Seriously hope my little Monts machine gets better. :( and I'm not at home if he doesn't so I won't be able to say goodbye. Just like I wasn't there to say goodbye to my poor birdy!!

Funny story actually.

Lulu, our (late) budgie was a little bitch. No other way to describe her. She was sociable enough and would let you take her out of her cage, but she really thought she was a terradactyl or something! Never seen another bird with such attitude. We once put her on Monty's nose and he was so relaxed he just kinda looked up at her with the cutest squint eyes and she nipped him on his nose. He sneezed and shook his head and looked at us as if to say, "Haha, that was awkward" complete with the wagging tail. And Lulu stood there like "Yeah Bitch!!" *airpunch*

Anyway, now that you know how gentle Monty is and how vicious Lulu was; my dad would often take Lulu around on his shoulder as we all would, but he used to go outside with her to his workshop. One day, while I'm here in Grahamstown, my dad goes out to his workshop with her on his shoulder and for some reason she was spooked and flew off his shoulder which she often did, but her wing had been clipped so she never went far before crash landing (quite gracefully I must admit). Well, she crash landed with her claws in the base of Monty's tail. He turned around and bit at whatever was poking his arse. And so our vicious Lulu was decapitated by our gentle Monty. I cried when I heard and if I weren't trying not to be hysterical for my mom's sake, I would've blubbed!

The next day after I had made peace with the fact that Lulu was now flying up high somewhere now and not into a dog's tail, I laughed at the situation. It was all wrong. Lulu is the decapitating type! Not Monty! Ok, that sounds really bad, but Monty is so incredibly gentle and Lulu was just I-won't-take-your-shit-and-I-don't-care-if-you-clean-my-cage-and-give-me-food and had so much attitude.

You get the picture?? Was really sad though!! And now, we have Elvis. The prettiest budgie we've had so far.

And Elvis is as mild and meek as a lamb. ; )

Heeellooo............. O.o

So my amazing boyfriend reminded me that I have a blog!!
Hehe, what would I do without him, really?
Well, Its been a while and everything that I kept thinking, "I should put this on my blog" is no longer relevant to me or my life. Not much has happened since the holidays. I only got to spend 5 days at home and the other 5 days i spent in Port Elizabeth with the man of my life so I was still feeling a bit icky about missing home. Also, never let anybody have any kind of hold over your relationship unless they are directly involved. Don't do it. It is not worth all the stress. That is all.
The Easter break was awesome because with all the public holidays I managed to get 6 whole days off (ok, so i bunked 2) at home and got to spend some proper time with my family.

So, today I read my friends Facebook status and Nicky, if you ever read this, thanks dude ;).
It goes like this:

When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people you chuckle to yourself, patting yourself on the back as you scoff. It's the same superiority complex shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell, makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma you spend every moment of your waking life BITCHING about!

Well that got my mind going. How true is this!! I am going to put myself into a group now for mere practical purposes, not because I am deeming myself part of this group. Us "different" people think we are so above the normal lot of people. How narrow-minded that is. We pity the people who picked on us in high school because we were just slightly different to what they were used to and thought that they have no right to think that they are above us and now that we are in a neutral environment where nobody cares what you do and how you do it, we think the exact same way as said jock did in high school; I am better than you and therefore have a reason to look down upon you. Isn't that what we tried to be rid of in high school? Isn't this the exact system we so gallantly fought against? I say why think yourself above anybody else? Why even bother with judging somebody on how they choose to live? Don't we have better things to do?

The world works because of the different people in it and it would just become a monotonous, dreary, malfunctioning blah of a planet if we worked that way. Thank God we don't!! Let them be gay, let them be Lesbian, let them walk barefoot in a kaftan to lectures, let them be "Like, OMG, I mean how could she even like...OMG I can't even explain it..OMG, like seriously", let them wear black and have a huge afro, let them wear shirts that promote one thing or demote another. Who gave you the right to say that they couldn't or that it's wrong that they do? Yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, but others are not entitled to the judgement they receive because of you opinion. Not on, bru.

Thanks for reminding of the existence of my blog babes.. (I think you are the only one reading this)