My pc has a mind of its own...

*facepalm*
Sorry about the shitty format and stuff of my previous post.. That sucked of me :/

a beautiful song, deadlines and cheers to a long weekend

So my friend Tiff whom I have spoken about before (the crazy Zimbo with the red hair?) is the biggest fan of me and Jarrod. She thinks that we are the cutest couple and are meant for each other blah blah (which we are, but she REALLY believes it too). So she told me to download and listen to this song: Here by Rascal Flats. Watch and learn. And listen, because the lyrics alone don't do it enough justice. It's one of those whiny country songs but the way it's sung is just so fitting to the words. Such an awesome song and so true for both me and the man.

There's a place I've been looking forThat took me in and out of buildingsBehind windows, walls and doorsAnd I thought I found itCouple times, even settled downAnd I'd hang around just long enoughTo find my way back outI know now the place that I was trying toReachWas you, right here in front of me 

[CHORUS]And I wouldn't change a thingI'd walk right back through the rainBack to every broken heartOn the day that it was breakin'And I'd relive all the yearsAnd be thankful for the tearsI've cried with every stumbled stepThat led to you and got me here, right here 

It's amazing what I let my heart go throughTo get me where it got meIn this moment here with youAnd it passed me byGod knows how many timesI was so caught up in holdingWhat I never thought I'd findI know now, there's a million roadsI had to takeTo get me in your arms that way 

[Repeat Chorus]
In a love I never thought I'd get to get to-hereAnd if that's the roadGod made me take to be with you 

[Repeat Chorus]
And I'd relive all the yearsAnd be thankful for all the tearsI've cried with every stumbled stepThat led to you and got me here, right hereOh, baby-OooOh, got me here 

Terribly sorry if that isn't your kind of song but I think it's pretty rad.


So, for the first time tonight I finished an article for the newspaper with 20 minutes to go until the deadline. I was given an article to write which was a pretty simple one but was kinda stupid. It was about the most datable (as in the person you'd want to go on a date with) SRC candidate. It's campaign week for them so they wanted something different on the SRC candidates and not the boring old stuff about them. I thought it was pretty lame and was told about it on Tuesday night. When I asked people who they thought was the most datable candidate, they thought it was pretty lame too. Anyway, I saw my sub-editor at 4 o'clock just before my hour long journalism tutorial (which would mean I'd come out at 5) and she said that I have until 5 to slap something together. Hello? Ja, I'll just do it now in my tut because I have nothing better to do with my time at this moment of my life. This is after I had told her that it was lame and I wasn't gonna do it because of the danger of dragging my name through the S*&% by writing something so silly. Anyway, I got an e-mail later asking how far I was. This was at 19:35. I typed up an article (a good one, considering the topic) and bombed it off to her at 19:59. Yes. You may applaud me now. Felt quite proud :) Another byline for my portfolio and in the space of 20 minutes! Think I may just have proved my little theory that I do work best under pressure.


AND, tomorrow, I don't have a psychology tutorial (which is usually my only thing on a Friday) so my weekend started today (YAY) with my friend and I sitting in my room Facebook stalking someone with exclaims from her about how hot he is. And then she Fraped me. If you don't know what that is, Google it. AAAH!! Sorry, I've just told you what I hate hearing and want to beat up whoever says that to me when I ask them something.


Off to enjoy my weekend!! Going to be slightly insane! Wish it could be with my loved one though. Sad. Miss him.


Peace :)

purple fever, hell week v1.0 and v2.0 and the beginning of the countdown

Well, what was possibly one of the biggest parties of the year is over and I flaked out early due to the evil of crackling.

THIS STUFF IS EVIL!! DO NOT EVER TOUCH IT!! NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE DYING (which i hope none of you ever do)

Soooo, the biggest party I mentioned before?? Tri-varsity. Which is still a bit of an enigma to me because of the following story:

I have been drinking crackling all year. It's terrible but it does the job and its cheap. I've survived, especially when mixed with Sprite. Once I had heartburn for 2 days after a large dose of Uncle Crackles here, but that didn't stop me from deciding to share a bomb (1.5 litre) with my friend mixed with Sprite for pre-drinks the first night of tri-var. We had the little pre-party in my room (matchbox) and then went to a friends res to finish it up and head out. There I finished up my half of the poison and had a few gulps of my boyfriend's vanilla vodka and coke. Then we headed out. Got to Friars and I'm ready for all the party that tri-var can bring my way. And then Uncle Crackles decides to ruin it all and saying something stupid like "I'm coming up!! And I'm bringing the supper you just had with me!!"

So that was me and the boyfriend coming back up to res to get me into bed at.................10 FRIKKEN 30 ON THE FRIDAY NIGHT OF THE BIGGEST MOST CRAZY WEEKEND OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course the next day I was man down until after lunch. Then the photos came out on Facebook and for once I was dreading them because I wasn't in any of them. I had completely failed and was so bummed that I had missed out on all the fun. The photos were so funny but I missed most of it.. The pre-party was great though. So the night ended up with my amazing boyfriend holding my hair back while I made best friends with Mr Shanks. Fail. And I failed his tri-var too although he keeps saying he came for me, not tri-var. Still feel like an ape. Trust my system to wait until tri-var to refuse poor old Uncle Crackles. That relationship has come to a bitter end and never will I ever have a crackling hangover again. Bad.life.choice. They aren't normal!! Recession wines and me are going to be good mates from now on.

me and the handsome man at pre-drinks (this is me sober and
still friends with uncle crackles)

Then the week after tri-var (last week) was Hell Week. With the profs making everything due for that week and the recovery time needed from the weekend, work piled up for everyone from all corners and threatened our very existence!!!......ok it wasn't THAT bad, but it wasn't pretty. It is now over but people are still drowning and my friend was telling me how she saw someone in the library who was only getting the readings she needed for her 10 page essay at 9:30 this morning and the deadline was at 10:00. Jaaaaaaa. Late for her.

I've only just managed to get the purple dye ff my chest which my boyfriend so lovingly dumped there for me :) Haven't seen the charming young man in a week now and I still have 3 weeks to go until I do. This will be the longest time that we haven't seen each other so I'm cringing at the though of that but we will get through it :) duh!

Oh, he wrote on my overalls for me. Little sign that says "Private Property" with his signature and little smiley face that he draws which looks like this: (marvel at my paint skills!!)

This was written on my bum in the middle between the 2 hand prints :P


Was so good to go home this past weekend though. Had a huge braai and ate tons of identifiable meat and potato bake (i make the best) and my mom's salad. No salad will ever beat that. 3 weeks until Jarrod, food, home and rest!! Can't wait :)

Peace :)

Substance..the gooey, icky type..

What matters to you?

How often do you ask yourself that?

How well do you answer that everytime you ask it?

If you're giving a list as long as your arm full of things then you could be really, really blessed and what not, or you're placing value on things that shouldn't be value laden.

Eek!! Why, oh, why, do I always get like this after saying goodbye to my boyfriend at yet another busstop, gate or next to an open door of a car that I am about to get into or walk away from? Wait, stupid question, huh?

Truth is, he matters a #$&%LOAD to me! He does, my family does, my friends do, my education does (which I am clinging onto for dear life at the moment). Memories matter to me because sometimes they are the only things that we have when all is said and done. Laughing matters.. But I think that comes standard with the above mentioned, especially with the crazy, amazing bunch I have been granted.

You know that moment when you realise how lucky you are to

1. be alive,
2. live (yes, they differ because this one is up to you to ensure),
3. have people in your life to be thankful for,
4. be in an amazing place (often self-determined),
5. and to realise that you are not, as you thought, in such a bad way?

Frikken glorious moment, isn't it?? I've lost count of how many times I've had that moment this year and I probably won't stop having it until I find a reason not to, which I hope will never happen (the guy told me he's here to stay, so..?..[hehe]). Everytime I've felt like caving and giving in this year and going home to my mommy and her amazing food and my glorious bed and and and....OK, now I miss home. Crap. Anyway, everytime I've done that, I've reminded myself of how lucky I am to be in a place like this one and have the people in my life that I do and what I can accomplish with what has been made available to me. The opportunities are FRIKKEN ENDLESS!! It's so exciting and if half the people around me here who moan about what's so wrong in their lives would open their eyes, smell the roses and see the silver lining, they would realise that too.

Ok, so I've harped on enough about this, but have been thinking about it for a while. On the Saturday before term started, my boyfriend's sister, Tam, had her wedding which was pretty much the most awesome one I've been too. Was small, really beautiful and Tam. of course, looked like a million bucks.
She loves the wholes '20's style and listens to people like Frank Sinetra and I can't recall who else. Oh, add Bowling for Soup to the mix. Yes, add it. Her dress was so pretty and I think outting up photos will do it a lot more justice.

Tam and her dad walking down the aisle

THE CAKE!!which was transported in
400 pieces from PE to East London

first dance...



Tam and her FRIKKEN CUTE brother :D



Tam and Cameron

Cocktails!!

Happiness is...

That's how we roll :)

Jarrod and his mom

The best for last..*sigh*

So yes, it was a great night! And come on, how handsome is the best man???? Riiiight?? ;)

On a sad note, I realise that I didn't mention that we had to put Monty down on my last day of being at home, literally, hours before I left :(. Was very sad, but we discovered that he had lymphatic cancer and the meds and the strain just got too much for hima dn the night before I left, he just looked like the life had been sucked right out of him and we could tell he was suffering and that it would be better that way. His body had swollen up randomly in places and he wouldn't stop shaking. So we sent him to doggy heaven. My mom has a quote on her Skype page that says "No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich". This is so true. Louis Sabim was a smart man..

Eek, must get going though.. Class tomorrow. And a test!! Blegh..

Peace :)

Week nombre uno..

So, we've been at it for a week now. At what, I'm not too sure. Some of us have been at Friars and the Rat and others at lectures and the library and all the goody-two-shoes shit that must be done at some point. It was an interesting week with a lots of ups and a few downs, but it really is good to be back. If you had told me this 2 weeks ago, I would've told you to stop BS'ing me.

So on Friday night we went to De Beers (our brother res) for pre-drinks and started playing "Never ever have I ever..." For anyone who has ever played that game you will know that you learn a LOT about the people in the room with you. For those unfortunate few of you who have never played it, you go around the room saying "Never ever have I ever..." and then you say something after that, whether or not you have done it before. For example, "Never ever have I ever been skinny dipping" and the people who have been skinny dipping before have to take a sip of their drink. PLAY THIS GAME. It can get you pretty drunk pretty fast if you've done a lot of arb stuff though.
Anyhow, it was probably the nicest pre-drinks this year as there were about 10 or more of us squeezed into a little res room (not as small as ours, but decently small). We got told to shut up a few times but it was a good night all round apart from some guy in Friars trying to punch me because I elbowed him in the gut after he trampled my toes and pushed me into someone. He swore at me, I swore at him and then he raised his hand, at which point I pushed him again and told him what an asshole he was and walked away. Needless to say he was very drunk.

Then on Saturday morning a few friends and I went down to the soccer field on campus to paint our overalls. We take plain white overalls and go nuts on them with purple paint and then wear them for inter varsity (this is the PC term as it is between 4 universities now, but we all still call it Tri-Var). They get very dirty and very purple. Lots of purple paint being thrown around at the tri-var parties and they can get pretty out of hand so do not hope to keep them clean. And washing them is a sin. End of story. Your overalls will be siff and gross but you will learn to accept this.
So we spent the better part of Saturday afternoon on a sunny patch of grass with a bunch of other people getting covered in paint and jazzing up our overalls. Mine aren't doe yet but I will endeavour to get a picture up when they are done (I don't have a camera which is what I mean by endeavour). My legs hate me now though as we had to stand over our overalls and bend down to paint as the grass was wet and muddy and rolling around on it wasn't the greatest of ideas. The muscles in my leg want to boycott my body right now from all the stretching and bending.

And then on Sunday, 2 of my friends and I went to a naked photoshoot called the "My Body, My Choice" photoshoot. The deal is that you get naked with a message either written on your body or on a placard that you can use to hide a few, uh, distinguishing features as well as portray your message. As long as you bare a decent proportion of your bod and your photo has a message, you're good. It was done in protest of the fact that women are often pushed into boxes by today's society with regards to their bodies and that certain men objectify women according to what they look like. It was real art in motion and some of the photos that were taken were really touching with the messages they portrayed. None of it was pornographic at all and was very appropriate.
The 3 of us got topless with our undies on and decided to write the message on our bodies. The first message was written on Ayanda's tummy saying, "More than just my boobs" and she was covering her chest with her hands. Stacy had "More than just my ass" on her back and had her back to the camera and was looking over her shoulder and I had "More than just my vag" on my tummy, covering my chest too and having my little shorts unbuttoned. All 3 of us have, at some point in our time here and even in high school, felt as if certain types of men have not seen who the real person inside is and just regarded us as a face with an ass, boobs or vag. So this had a heavy meaning for us and I think the way in which we did it was effective.
Very excited to see the photos in the exhibition!!

At the moment though I have to run and do some work.. Not feeling too productive though.. HAVE TO FIND A LIFT TO THE BOYFRIEND THIS WEEKEND!! Eeek!! Speaking of the boyfriend:

You sink into my skin
Ever deeper with every breath.
This convenient, connecting slumber
Joins you and me.
I dare not move
Lest I shatter the fragile
Structure of this moment,
The most delicate,
Most powerful.
Your familiar face
Blushes and curves,
Talking, whispering, a mere mutter
Of my name.
My slumber has become yours
As I struggle fruitlessly, unwillingly
To break from my addiction.
Your warmth penetrates my skin
Saturating me in
The most fragile, most powerful
Comforts of addiction.
              -by me

Shweet. Cool.

Long time, no see!

So exams went by, and then holidays started and then those went by and now I'm back at university for term 3. Sheesh this year is moving way too fast!
Much like my previous lengthy break from blogging, I thought a million times "Oooh I should put that on my blog!", but, as before, I can remember none of it. Fail.
Recent thoughts though:

I have come to the stage of my life (or it might be just a phase) in which all I want to do is, (well only after travelling) find myself a nice job in a nice place and move into a really nice house or start building one with the man I marry and be able to count on having someone at home when I get there and then tell him how my day was and you know, just lead the simple life. It sounds so boring, but for me, that sounds like heaven because I know who it will be with and he alone embodies paradise for me. Anyway, I was telling someone this the other day and she basically told me that I was a disgrace to women and Feminism and for a second there I felt like I was, just a little bit. But then I realised that that's not what it's about. Feminism is about the power of choice. It isn't about women getting out of the home and destroying a stereotype, it's about giving women the choice to do that. If they want to stay at home and bring up children or if they want to go out and be powerful businesswomen or public figures should be their choice. It's all about being able to choose and the more people I told this, the weirder the looks I received became. Now I'm really just a bit baffled because I'm pretty frikken certain that forcing women out of the home does not amount to freedom. Hopefully it's just the noobs that I spoke to that have this view on Feminism and women.

AMAZING song that I rediscovered this vac though is It's All Your Fault by Pink. I love this chick. And if you merely read the words, it won't be good enough. Download the song or something.

I conjure up the thought of being gone
But I'd probably even do that wrong
I try to think about which way
Would I be able to and would I be afraid

Cause oh I'm bleeding out inside
Oh I don't even mind (Yeah)

It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

Da da dada da dada da
Da dadadadadada da dadadadadada

I'm trying to figure out what else to say
To make you turn around and come back this way

I feel like we could be really awesome together
So make up your mind cause it's now or never (oh)

It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

I would never pull the trigger
But I've cried wolf a thousand times
I wish you could
Feel as bad as I do
I have lost my mind

It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath

Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air

And it's not fair

(Oh yeah
It's all your fault)

I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

Such an awesome song, beat, words and all.

So I do this thing, that if there's something on my mind, I write about it. Sometimes a poem comes out and sometimes random thoughts and stories come out. But then there are the things that I'm scared to write about in case I jinx it. And eventually I work up the guts to just do it. And falling in love is one of these times. And so I wrote about it after about 6 six months of being with the greatest guy to ever grace me with his presence.

Roll over,
Reach out my hand.
Touch your imaginary face.
You're there.
I see you.
I feel nothing.
Forever near me,
Forever beside me.
You are the one
Who I feel is
With me all the time,
All the places.
Never there,
But ever near.
My world,
Your world,
No dividing line,
No marked conclusion
To either or.
You are I
and I am you.

                                              -by me

Giving you the power to destroy me
Is what I was destined to do.
Your mystery eludes me,
Angry me, lover me, you and me.
Becoming myself with you,
What else could I be expected to do?
Your heart, my heart:
Darling, you must learn to share.
Taking is sharing,
Sharing is taking,
So take and share.
Trust - I know what you could do to me,
But you don't.
Trust, deceit?
My world on a silver platter
While sparks fly high above
Your head, my head,
On a silver platter.
Why don't you break it?
Why don't you destroy me?

                        -by me

Valleys, mountains
Canyons, hills, cliffs.
An adventure of
Wonder, celebration.
No dry, baron flatland
Can compete.
You mark my landscape
On your intrepid adventures;
discovering, uncovering and worshipping.
Adorning every new discovery
With you love, your heart, your eyes.
My landscape thrives for you
My mountains remain ever fast, evergreen
While you love remains everlasting.
Explore me, intrepid adventurer,
until familiarity becomes familiar.
                              -by me

So damn good to be so in love with such an amazing person.

Marise (a girl on my corridor) made my day today. I love the song Little Lion Man from Mumford and Sons and she had it as her status on Facebook, so I comment and say "Play it LOUD, I wanna hear it too!" About ten minutes later, I hear this little speaker right outside my half open door playing Little Lion Man. That pretty much made my day :).

Getting back here yesterday, I traversed around the res to say hello to everyone and later on that night Tiff came back and of course the dear sweet girl hadn't taken her calm down pills and she was hyper as ever!! But she gave me the prettiest earrings ever!! And Belgium chocolate in the shape of a cellphone. After I had devoured like 2 kgs of chocolate at Jarrod's sister's wedding. So my body is not very happy with me, especially after coming back to this shitty food we get.. Cotch face.

C'est la vie...

So i had a really good weekend at home. Nadine couldn't come in the end but I enjoyed it none the less. Had my mom with me the whole time and had the best cooking in the world, which made me the happiest person alive!

Got back on Sunday afternoon. Later that night at 11:30, our warden (Sandra) starts knocking on everyone's doors telling us that there is an emergency meeting in the common room. The hall warden (Dr Gambiza) is here and he wants to give us some news. Now you can imagine how peeved we all were at being woken up or having our studying interrupted at 11:30 on a Sunday night. What could be this important, really?? So we get to the common room and everyone is speculating as to why we were there. All the sub-wardens and Sandra had to stand there and listen to us speculate and laugh while they knew what was going on. The Dr arrived and told us he had bad news. I will never forget what he said. "One of us has been killed." He said "Anja" but nobody knew who that was because she never called herself that. When he said her surname we all knew it was the beautiful, sweet, amazing Ajaya (AJ). She stayed two doors down from me and everytime I walk out of my room now all I can see are flowers outside of her door.

She had gone to Port Alfred with her friends and had left as I arrived back from home. I walked in as she walked out and I still said goodbye to her and told her to have a great time and thought how brave she was to wear shorts 'cause it was still kinda cold. On the way back on Sunday night the bakkie they were in rolled because the driver tried to overtake on a road that should not even exist it's so bad. I get scared driving along that road in broad daylight with the most responsible of drivers. It's not a fun ride. And not a road anyone should be overtaking on. She didn't suffer though and although that sounds sick of me, it was one of the things that we were thinking about and were comforted to know that she didn't.

AJ never didn't have a smile on her face and I literally cannot recall seeing her face in a frown, ever. Not once in the short time that I knew her. You could be having the shittest day ever and just talking to her would cheer you up, even marginally, but generally exponentially. She was a ballroom dancer and did drama and had such amazing talent.

She was literally one of those people that could light up a room just by walking into it and smiling at everyone. When we heard the news we went to De Beers (our brother res) to break the news. It's amazing how amazing those guys are. We stood in their foyer talking for hours and we stood in a circle praying for AJ and her family. I remember thinking how lucky heaven was to have been given such a special angel that night.

I still can't believe she's gone, but everytime I walk out of my door I realise she is. Makes me want to tell all my loved ones how much I love them and cherish them and all the people I want to make peace with that I'm sorry or I don't care anymore if they're not sorry. I don't ever want to leave this earth with things unsaid.

This is gonna sound weird, but I've always had this thing, I don't know what to call it. A theory? That the shortest lives are the most brilliant. Everyone who I have known that has passed away far too soon have been amazing people that lived everyday until there was no more left in that day. Someone said to me on Sunday night, "The great die young" and it has some truth to it. It's as if all the greatness that could be achieved in an average lifetime has been squashed up and crammed into 20 years, making it even more great or awesome. If this isn't making any sense then I suppose it doesn't matter because it's making sense in my head.

We are having a candle vigil tonight for AJ at which there will be a book in which we can write a message about her, a memory, a poem, something for her family, anything we want and that book will go back home with her family, that way some part of her Rhodes family can go back with her and her family. And then tomorrow is her memorial service and we are going to release helium balloons into the sky with notes attached to them for AJ.

It's amazing how quickly the people in your res and dining hall become like your family. When I think about it, they literally do become that: your family away from home. I've only been here for half a year and I feel like that already. Wonder what the second years feel like by now.

Needless to say, I haven't been getting too much studying done, but I'm getting there. My first exam is English on Friday afternoon and then I have History on Saturday morning. Great stuff. Can't wait for Saturday afternoon!!! For some reason my hand is REALLY itchy so I'm going to stop typing now, but I shall be back soon.

And just in case anyone thought of forgetting: I love my boyfriend!!!!!!!!!